Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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