Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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