I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
