Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
