i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
