is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
