Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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