i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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