Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
