Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So squirting runs in the family.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
