who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
