How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
