if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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