Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
