I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
