After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
