Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
