The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't think brook has ever known best
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
