Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The Olympian is in my bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
