If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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