Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
