When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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