I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think a kid would responsible me up
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
