bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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