Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
