Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
