ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
