Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
