The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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