I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
