All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
