I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
