Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
