Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
