Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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