have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
