im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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