it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
