So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
