I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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