So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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