We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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