and you said cock pushups were impossible
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
