im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
