Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
