you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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