I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
