I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
