Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
