I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
